Questioning-edited.

There are a lot of things that you could doubt about yourself..

You doubt your self ability,
You doubt your decision making process,
You doubt your choice..
And probably, you doubt your sanity..

Today, over a cup of hot hazelnut latte I am questioning myself..I doubt every single logic decision that I’ve made.

The question is:
Why I choose one particular guy over hundreds guy that I could be with..?

Tried so many hundreds time to make a “why” list..and now, I’ll try once again to make the list..just to make sure that I have enough reasons to choose him as the owner of my heart.. and here it comes the reasons:

1. Because I respect him
2. Because everytime I look at him, I just know that he is the one
3. Because he is the one I am look up to.. Fyi, I am super independent stubborn girl who rarely look up to someone..
4. Because he is acting super cool everytime, have an enormous high confidence that every girl in town will be down to their knee to get him (rr… I am a bit exaggerating here)
5. Because he is playing hard to get, yet care enough about me
6. Because he is brave enough to take the risks just to be with me? --> Make me feel worth enough?
7. Because, basically, he is the one with huge testosterone which make him looks enormously sexy! He is the most manly man I ever met.. Yet he is detail and super neat. A very good blend of a guy which every woman dreaming.. (Am I exaggerating again? No! )
8. Because he smells good (let’s go to the physical part); tall and big, good looking enough – great second look, have a deep eyes, have a very good taste on cars, watch, and electronics!
9. Because he is the man!

Seems the reasons are good enough eh? yet, he does living with someone else.

Heart never lies rite? It always guide you to the right one. Does it?

Today, over that cup of hazelnut latte, I am questioning, whether my feeling is real, or am I dating and falling in love with my own brain..? Or I just simply trapped in my own illusion of falling in love..?
PS: this isn’t black or white story.. being grey is part of life..