What is an ideal world?

I was thinking of this term today…

I wish everyone could have a chance to live happily..

EVERYONE…
unknown people i met on the bus, the security man whom i never saw before this morning, my friendly receptionist, my damn good office boy, my boss, my BIG bosses, EVERYONE….

I wish everyone could have their own ideal world to make them happy..
at least I wish they are having the same chance to live happily as their standard, not hurted, not burdened

but then I think… why God not create it that way?
He must have a very good reason for that…

then it left me the question why in my mind.

As I am trying to understand why…I try to look for the definition of ideal first.

according to my dictionary:

ideal |īˈdē(ə)l|
adjective
1 satisfying one’s conception of what is perfect; most suitable : the swimming pool is ideal for a quick dip | this is an ideal opportunity to save money.
2 [ attrib. ] existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality : in an ideal world, we might have made a different decision.
• representing an abstract or hypothetical optimum : mathematical modeling can determine theoretically ideal conditions.

Based on the dictionary,
in the first sentence ideal is representing something perfect based on someone’s conception/ someone wish…
and surprisingly, even dictionary already said that it is existing only in imagination!!

What is wrong with this world? why the word ‘ideal’ seems so impossible?
why?

and a week later,
I found the answer…

I am amazed, even feel shock that I can find the answer that fast..

it is as simple as when you have everything that you want,
you will loss desire. you won’t feel alive anymore.

When you get all the things what you want, then you feel empty..
then thats it. done.

thats why the ideal and perfect situation only exist in your mind.

Hide and seek with fear

Life is very much full of surprises as weather

When you expect a bright sunny day, sometimes it doesn’t

And if I can be honest, day in my life not always be a warm one

Sometimes it is a dark stormy day that it is hardly to see forward

 

Since my early age

I was afraid of dark sky, more and more afraid of lightning and thunder

I closed my eyes so I didn’t see the sky burst

I protect my ears so I didn’t hear the constant explosion that hurt me so

I ran to deepest earth if I could, hiding from that heavy stormy rain

 

As I grow up..

I realize one thing, I can’t hide anymore.

I have to face the fear and start think what the worst could happen If I wasn’t hide.

 

As I grow up I try to face the fears

I try to see the lightning straightly

I try to catch the melody of thunder

I try to dance in the pouring rain

 

While waiting the storm passed, I learned how to enjoy the flash of lightning, the melody of thunder, and dancing with the raindrops

And I try to believe, on the next days I’ll see the most peaceful clear sky

I ever once look for a definition of love

I ever once, try to define a word called LOVE

And I failed, failed, failed and failing again

I was looking the answer to all over the world, to every book I read, to every single person I spoke, to every song I heard.

I was wondering, where can I find the answer.

What kind of creature is that?

Some said, you feel really alive when you have something called LOVE

Some said, you feel really awful when you lose it

And some said, it just a sparks and fireworks which is unreal.

Until the time that I found you.

Until the period you taught me about unconditional love.

Giving without expecting.

I can't describe it with words..

yet it just feel right, it just feel peaceful.

Fairy Tale..

I was watching TV series lately…

There, life seems so much easy. Too easy.

Do what you love, speak what you have in mind, live a life. Done.

I have a question in mind…

“Can it be real? Can we have a real life doing only what we love,without sacrificing something?or its just a fairy tale story?” 

I was questioning it over and over..

I was watching and putting my eyes on star’s world (star ~ famous and successful people)

I am watching them and questioning “Do they have to sacrifice something to make a living?” Or “ They just lucky get a free fulfilling life, doing what they love, be rich because of it?”

I think, those kind of questions pop up in most of twenties… 

Twenties…

Identity crisis. Time to go to the jungle. Whatever..

Life in college never teach us how to live a life.

Worst part, it is not preparing us to be what we want to be.

And that’s what make twenties life so complicated ~ if I can say so..

We are graduated from college and university.

Having so much dream, having so much idealism.

We start looking for a job with reason for living.

No matter what the job is, we go for it.

After working for several months,

We realize that it isn’t what we want…

It is far away from what we say “perfect”

We get stuck, in the middle of nowhere and losing our deepest passion.

But we keep doing our best in our job in a way that we learn a word “realistic”

 Again, I am questioning “ Should we sacrifice something for make a good life? “ 

Layangan

Aku suka sekali melihat layangan dari kejauhan…

melihat mereka berlari kesana kemari di langit...

aku merasa sungguh ingin menggapai mereka…

Dan mulailah aku memainkan layangan tersebut,

karena kupikir sungguh menarik sekali jika aku dapat menggapai layangan itu dan aku dapat membuatnya menari di kejauhan sesuai keinginanku…

namun, ternyata aku salah….aku menarik mereka terlalu dekat…

dan ketika layangan itu tiba di tanganku…

mereka tidaklah seindah anganku..

Arwana

Salahkah aku jika dilahirkan bagai seekor arwana?

arwana yang selalu nyaman hidup dalam sekotak kaca, dalam kesendiriannya...
arwana yang tak ingin berbagi tempatnya...
arwana yang memilih tidak hidup daripada berbagi kotak kacanya?

Aku adalah arwana yang ingin belajar berbagi....
namun sungguh, jika aku berbagi tempat, aku merasa bahwa aku bukanlah lagi seekor arwana.

Salahkah?
Salahkah aku jika dilahirkan bagai seekor arwana?