Fa-Mi-Ly part 1

What does family mean?

According to Merriam Webster: 

family |ˈfam(ə)lē|noun ( pl. -lies)1 [treated as sing. or pl. ] a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.• a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage : friends and family can provide support.• the children of a person or couple : she has the sole responsibility for a large family.• a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy : I could not turn him away, for he was family.• a group of people united in criminal activity.• Biology a principal taxonomic category that ranks above genus and below order, usually ending in -idae (in zoology) or -aceae (in botany).• a group of objects united by a significant shared characteristic.• Mathematics a group of curves or surfaces obtained by varying the value of a constant in the equation generating them.2 all the descendants of a common ancestor : the house has been owned by the same family for 300 years.• a race or group of peoples from a common stock.• all the languages ultimately derived from a particular early language, regarded as a group : the Austronesian language family.
If I follow above definition, then my ownership of family ended long time ago when I was at elementary school. Last time I lived with both parents are when I was 10- that was 16 years ago. After that I lived with my grandmother and big brother - that categorized me to have a small family, yet when I was 15 or 16, I almost lived alone as my grandmother falling sick and moved to other city with my aunty while my brother is back and forth going to take care of my grandmother.

Well, I am not writing today to discuss or share about my childhood.

I am writing because I have been thinking about this topic for a while.

I am thinking that I am a solitaire person who is incapable of feeling love, and somehow that bring me to the thought that probably I am too long living on my own. 

There, when I start to think whether I never feel loved, thus I am incapable of taking care a relationship or even friendship.

Generally speaking, a human being learn initial things about love from a family.

Yet, I might say, I don't have perfect one. So, is it justified for me to not knowing and to not show love because of my past background?

I don't think so! *said my heart loud and clear

And then I wonder, how does it feel to have a complete family?

How does it feel to have a memory of childhood of running back home from school to your mom and told her everything you have learned that day?

How does it feel to have father who can teach you ride a bike and drive a car?

How does it feel to have someone protect you from harm?

I don't have perfect story here..

but then, when I answer questions above in my head..

somehow my logic brain connects the dots and give an answer:

"You probably never had a perfect family like movies, but some people certainly love you and you are surviving- and most of those experience, you had it with your friends."

And I am stunned by the answer of my logic or my heart (whichever!)..

It made me conclude that family doesn't have to be limited to someone or people that has same DNA or genetics with you. It could be whoever- who care enough and contribute to your life. It possibly one stranger that change your life, it could be your partner in the office who sit next to you. As long as they care, and as long as you believe them and they believe you.. you can say they are family.

Yes, I know its not perfect, but you could live with that!!

to be continued to Fa-Mi-Ly part 2- explaining the feeling of rooted :)