Indonesia personality assessment- my view.

Changi Airport, 7th March 2014, heading home..

I have been back to Singapore for a week. During my stay in Singapore, my mind wander a lot.

"Why Indonesian cannot be proud of what they have?"
"Why Indonesian tend and love to play victim?"

Despite of all the greatness we have, we are always in crisis mode!!
Confidence crisis, identity crisis, leadership crisis.

If Indonesia is a human and have a personality, I think I will describe it this way:
Indonesia is too much in love with a word called togetherness and humility, that led her to a very wrong habit of not taking charge.
Indonesia is too much inconfident of saying what she thinks right, she avoids debate, she hates being unpopular and afraid too much about other people feelings- Which led her to a vicious cycle of incapability of leading!
And sadly, Indonesia is so humble that she can't see greatness in herself!

Look at her friend next to him..Singapore..
She is so small, has no native resource - even she needs to make a forest to have a forest!
Yet, she is so great on using what she has to bargain and negotiate with others.
With some perseverance, she is able to build what she needs.

Indonesia, you have all the nature resources to be great.
Yet, you never realize it and always trapped on the culture of playing victim.

So sad that you always try to smile while you are actually crying. 
So sad that you still hide your potential while others always trust your greatness..

Change preferences

People change.
they change their minds
they change their preferences
they change their friends
even they change their type of soulmate.

There is nothing right or wrong on this.
Each people just learn in different way.

Me myself choose different style of friendship.
Previously, I prefer to have small number of friends-
previously, I want to have a deep relationship with small number of people who I call friend.
previously, I want to hear anything about them.

Yet, life change.
and so do I.
now, I prefer to have many friends
and I don't need to know their past, their deep story or having deep connection.
Laughing together is enough to be called a friend.

Its probably sound superficial, yet I find it better.
I can learn a lot of new perspectives, without expectation burdening.

So, anyone want to be my friend now? :)

Self respect as key of happiness

Happiness shouldn't be complicated.

one of the key thing to happiness is your ability to take care of yourself well.

self respect is the key.

Some simple tips:

1. Eat what you wanna eat, but eat consciously.

    I drink coke, eat ice cream and chocolate, but in a sufficient amount.

2. Exercise, a healthy soul start with healthy body. I do exercise at least twice a week.

3. Sleep well, put all of your worry in a paper or keep it at locked box. 

    Just worry when its time to worry, dont let your negative mind ruin your sleep.

4. Do what you like to do to charge yourself.

    I loooove spa, but when I can't go to spa, I do it at home!

5. Grateful. If you have shelter, enough food, ability to buy proper fashion; you already lucky.    

     Don't whine! Life is tough and just keep moving.

Happiness should be simple. Don't over complicate it.

Friendship definition

I've been trying to define friendship lately...I keep asking myself..
What is the definition of best friends?
What is definition of bad friends?

I have browsed the dictionary.. and it doesn't help much this time.
so I will try to define it myself.

For me, friendship is like a relationship.. you need to find a person who can grow up at the same phase with you.
Friendship should be a benefit for both parties, where you resonate things without saying  too many words, where one doesn't need to keep telling other parties to do this and that continuously, where you can create comforts for being with each other.
Friendship should involve trust.. when lies involved, trust broken, then the friendship is gone.

There are times, when I acuse myself as a not so good friend when my friend probably need me badly- I can't stand when my friends keep whining without doing the acts and I can't stand the immature talks involving too much feeling. 
I have been trying to keep reminding myself that friendship should be unconditional, that I should be there in good and bad times. But, then I think, my style of friendship is a different one, I am tough and logic and will not involve pity in a friendship. 

OH, I know this isn't a perfect definition of friendship.
The good thing about my imperfect writings.. everyone can define their own definition of friendship :) 
here is some inspiration for you and me to define friendship : 

Choose your friend wisely fellas!

Writing from the office, again..

I am writing from the office again.

Why?

Because my mind and heart and soul speak too much when I was in office!

They made comments to my every single doing in workplace.

When I was in a meeting, my mind constantly say this and that about the person in front of me

When I was staring at my inbox, my mind constantly cursing how silly people are for asking such an unimportant questions to me

When I was replying emails or crafting a presentation or in a teleconference room, my mind wander.. WHY DO I DO THIS?

Its just very funny, after 4 years and 3 months working, I feel I come back to point zero where I have no clue why am I here or what is my purpose of life.

Its just too funny that I start to think that I probably should try sales, try finance, try anything that less require me to do facilitation job.

When attended one of trainee presentation today, I just somehow knew that I have lost the spirit.

All my mind says these days: "I am tired like Hell, I am tired like Hell"

Lets practice perseverance though, or.. knowing when to quit.
I am reading this book:

Some of the key take outs:

1. Persistence in pursuit of a goal is valuable. So is knowing when to quit.
2. Your brain is hard-wired for persistence 
3. Fear of failure can blind you to the need to quit chasing a goal that isn’t working.
4. Not all quitting is healthy. Quitting with threats or staging a “disappearing act” feeds underlying problems.
5. Manage your possible regrets. Don’t let self-reflection turn into unhealthy rumination.

First time writing from the office.

My life sometimes was in a not so happy time.
From scale 1-10 of happiness, mine is only 3-4. 

I notice that it happens when I can't think clearly and not having time to breathe properly.

What can I do about it?

Managing expectation, and do little things that is matter for myself...

Like now, while I have a lot of task to do, I choose to stop and do what I like to do..writing and breathe! :)

Fa-Mi-Ly part 1

What does family mean?

According to Merriam Webster: 

family |ˈfam(ə)lē|noun ( pl. -lies)1 [treated as sing. or pl. ] a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.• a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage : friends and family can provide support.• the children of a person or couple : she has the sole responsibility for a large family.• a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy : I could not turn him away, for he was family.• a group of people united in criminal activity.• Biology a principal taxonomic category that ranks above genus and below order, usually ending in -idae (in zoology) or -aceae (in botany).• a group of objects united by a significant shared characteristic.• Mathematics a group of curves or surfaces obtained by varying the value of a constant in the equation generating them.2 all the descendants of a common ancestor : the house has been owned by the same family for 300 years.• a race or group of peoples from a common stock.• all the languages ultimately derived from a particular early language, regarded as a group : the Austronesian language family.
If I follow above definition, then my ownership of family ended long time ago when I was at elementary school. Last time I lived with both parents are when I was 10- that was 16 years ago. After that I lived with my grandmother and big brother - that categorized me to have a small family, yet when I was 15 or 16, I almost lived alone as my grandmother falling sick and moved to other city with my aunty while my brother is back and forth going to take care of my grandmother.

Well, I am not writing today to discuss or share about my childhood.

I am writing because I have been thinking about this topic for a while.

I am thinking that I am a solitaire person who is incapable of feeling love, and somehow that bring me to the thought that probably I am too long living on my own. 

There, when I start to think whether I never feel loved, thus I am incapable of taking care a relationship or even friendship.

Generally speaking, a human being learn initial things about love from a family.

Yet, I might say, I don't have perfect one. So, is it justified for me to not knowing and to not show love because of my past background?

I don't think so! *said my heart loud and clear

And then I wonder, how does it feel to have a complete family?

How does it feel to have a memory of childhood of running back home from school to your mom and told her everything you have learned that day?

How does it feel to have father who can teach you ride a bike and drive a car?

How does it feel to have someone protect you from harm?

I don't have perfect story here..

but then, when I answer questions above in my head..

somehow my logic brain connects the dots and give an answer:

"You probably never had a perfect family like movies, but some people certainly love you and you are surviving- and most of those experience, you had it with your friends."

And I am stunned by the answer of my logic or my heart (whichever!)..

It made me conclude that family doesn't have to be limited to someone or people that has same DNA or genetics with you. It could be whoever- who care enough and contribute to your life. It possibly one stranger that change your life, it could be your partner in the office who sit next to you. As long as they care, and as long as you believe them and they believe you.. you can say they are family.

Yes, I know its not perfect, but you could live with that!!

to be continued to Fa-Mi-Ly part 2- explaining the feeling of rooted :)

5 Simple Tools for Quieting Your Busy Mind

As I already mentioned in my two previous post, our mind is magic thing, it can bring us happiness and unhappiness. So we have to learn to control it. Today I bump into another blog that also discussing about it, 
here it is...

Our minds are valuable tools, but sometimes they can just be annoying.  Especially when they try to take over, creating an endless stream of thoughts that leave us spinning.  It would not be so bad if they were beautiful and uplifting thoughts, but when our minds gets in this state it’s favorite subjects are usually worry, fear, self-judgment, and guilt.

Who needs that? 

Your mind is not who you are.  It does not control you.  Here are 5 simple tools to try when your brain goes into monkey mind mode:

Prayer and/or Meditation - the ultimate peace giving tools

Mindful Movement – go for a walk or run and count your steps

Focused Activities – Find an activity that requires or inspires your full attention.  Ideas that have worked for others include art, crafts, building things, puzzles, gardening, and sports.

Visualization – Picture the thoughts spinning in your head and then move them to a place outside of you.

Challenging Your Thoughts – Ask yourself if the thoughts are really true and if they serve you.  If not, let them go.  Repeat this process until your mind understands what kinds of thoughts you are willing to keep.

Taken from: www.lifecoachlinda.wordpress.com

Sharing Happiness to Others When You Actually Feel Unhappy

Happy New Year 2014 everyone..!!

Its time to be fierce, to be courageous and to grow more personally.

One of the habit that I'm trying to build since 2013 is meditation.

I believe that it will improve my mental resilience to face life ;)

So I use some simple apps that taught me meditation technique.

The apps is quite simple where it reminds me to do meditation everyday, and then they gave me a quote to ponder along with a nice music background to meditate.

One of my very first quote is "Happiness doesn't decrease when we share it with others"

Quite simple, and I am agree with that.

but something hit me when I do the meditation today,

I think that I never mind sharing happiness with others, but its really hard for me to share happiness when me myself feel unhappy.

That's the challenge!

During my silence time today, I am actually come to a realization that in the unhappy situation, if I can treat other people well and make them feel comfortable anytime (regardless the happiness meter of myself at that time) - will somehow help me to always feel good about myself and then link to the increase of my own happiness.

So... one of my very first commitment in this year is probably to always treat people well.

For my own happiness :) 

and probably you can try too...

Only your mind that can bring you happiness and unhappiness

My mind wanders off a lot lately.
Seems like it finds its own world and creating its own stories, which unfortunately affect my mood a lot. And if I had a Dumbledore's pensieve, here is a piece of my rambled mind. 

I don't feel good lately.
Starting from last christmas eve day.
I suddenly met a huge emptiness starting that day, I feel disappointed with myself who didn't arrange any special event on that day.

It supposed to be special, it supposed to be warm, it supposed to be relieving joy, it supposed to be... (My mind continue to build expectations)
But what I had on that day is.. an empty room, a have no idea "what did i have for dinner?" brain, an empty stomach and a hollow heart.

And I've tried to fixed it, yet, it didn't succeed.
and I tried it the next two days, where I met friends and try to put a beautiful fake smile..
and it didn't succeed.
I tried again today, where I bought my 3 nephew and nieces christmas gifts.
and it didn't succeed.

My mind unrested and was looking for the answer why a logic creature like me can be "not so in shape". Then from thousand of memories in my brain, I remember that about two weeks ago, I read an article about a single writer and traveller who actually feel empty and scared being alone, yet she tried to show to the world that she is strong enough.

That article dispersed in my unconscious mind.
Deep down I questioned whether I act the same.. whether I tried to show to the world that I am strong independent woman, yet I feel vulnerable being alone?
My soul is shaky, my unconscious mind want to do further analysis, while my conscious mind try to stop it.
And so, after that event, in a holy christmas eve, my unconscious mind rattled and affect my feeling.

Until, I open my meditation apps on my phone that said:
"Only the mind that can bring happiness and unhappiness"

I was pondering real hard when read that sentence, and realizing that I was unhappy because of my mind ponder everywhere. While actually if I focus on the now, nothing is wrong, nothing to be worried about - I had family, had several good friends, a good career, a good shelter, able to buy anything I need, able to travel the world if I wanted to.
Everything is available, accessible.
Yet, my mind just over worried and perplexed by a story of someone else's experience.
And its just too funny if I feel unhappy because of my mind (something that I actually can control) was looking at other people's life.

Well, the message of the story was...
We are human gifted by God to control the mind, and not vice versa.
Take care of your mind carefully as it is a garden of your life, you can let anything grow - even if it is not a good one.

Its ok to be alone, literally...

Living in society right now is not easy.
Information overflowing, your friends pictures everywhere, your acquaintances lifes are accessible.

Its very easy for everyone now to compare their life with others,
but sadly, probably in a wrong way.

Its very easy to expect too much from life and its very easy to demand yourself to look at surrounds and expect yourself to be someone else to be accepted.

I should thank God that I learnt it on my very young age.
Rather than learn it later and act as someone else on my old age.

I should thank God that I had enough time suffering alone but surviving. By that, I had enough time build my own confidence, not by being somebody else but being myself, learn from every failures and mistakes and proofing that everything always will be ok.

I should thank God that I had enough time living alone. By that, I had enough time to ponder, find, understand and connect with myself, and learn that it is the truest happiness in life - to know and accept yourself the way it is.

I should thank God that I had a chance to live and survive alone. By that I learn that its ok to feel alone, lonely, abandoned, but strong at the end. And by that I learn that there is no point comparing your life with others, because in the end its about being you yourself and strong.

I should thank God that I had the chance to be independent since my young age. By that, nothing easy, trust me, but... I had the chance to proof it is ok to be alone, as long as you have strong will, everything is possible.

A lot of things I learned when I am almost all alone, but everything is just fine.. even probably, better .

meditation

Remember one of my blogpost that I google almost all things?
Got this picture yesterday, and it so spot me on!!

to do list: learn to meditate!

Mathematics of happiness

Everyone knows and probably have heard about this formula of happiness, yet we often forget to apply it on daily life. Here is the formula:  

Happiness = Reality - Expectation.
So don't get too complicated on pursuing and formulating happiness, it probably as simple as lowering you expectation to everything surrounds you. Don't expect too much from your family, from your partner, from your company, from your kids and friends.

Definition of Happiness
happinessnountrying to rediscover the happiness we once knew contentment,satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, joviality,jollity, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, well-being,enjoyment.
Definition of Reality
reality |rēˈalətē|noun ( pl. -ties)1 the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them : he refuses to face reality | Laura was losing touch with reality.• a thing that is actually experienced or seen, esp. when this is grim or problematic : the harsh realities of life in a farming community | the law ignores the reality of the situation.• a thing that exists in fact, having previously only existed in one's mind: the paperless office may yet become a reality.• the quality of being lifelike or resembling an original : the reality of Marryat's detail.
Definition of Expectation
expectation |ˌekspekˈtā sh ən|nouna strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future :reality had not lived up to expectations | an expectation that the government will provide the resources | he drilled his men in expectation of a Prussian advance.• a belief that someone will or should achieve something : students had high expectations for their future.• ( expectations) archaic one's prospects of inheritance.

Now I know what I don't know about myself.

Today, a series of events become an eye opener for me.
It awakes me from my long sleep.

Started with morning discussion about the company culture where I worked.
In a meeting we discuss that my current company is a "club", and not a company - and everyone is agreeing on it.
I don't know why, I feel uncomfortable being on that meeting, where everyone was happy with that fact. Vice versa, I feel ashamed. I feel nothing fun about it.
Work for me should be serious and formal and professional.
And not for fun purpose.

Then I jump to another meeting, about people.
Where I think much about how this company should manage people performance.
Nothing really big happen on that meeting, I just found that I hate so much doing facilitating job. 

And last but not least, I received bad news and I am super angry with the situation, that I feel so tired about it. I am almost yelling at several person and only stop when one of my beloved person said that I should stop .

At that time, I suddenly arrived at the moment of truth that I don't like the job, I don't like the value of the company, and I've been pushing myself to be somebody else for past couple of years. 

I promise myself that I should be myself, and be the best that I can be.
And for the whole four years, I am doing great, even though I am not being myself.
And I am of course will do greater, If I am being myself. 

Things About Love that Logic Doesn't Understand

All of us know, Love and Logic are not always go along together well.

But I am so amazed how love can change logic mind, and even make irrational things..
become rational and acceptable.

I never imagine that love can justify everything and even change something 180 degrees to the opposite.

I am the living example.
I never thought or imagined that I could break all the boundaries set up by myself.

But Love does.
It makes me crazy and just act irrationally and I am happy.

I can say that I am impatient person, but for Love, I would nicely patiently wait...when things are slow, Love give me power and faith to wait.

I am an unbeliever of magic, but somehow Love has bring magic into my life.
1+1 not only equal to two , but more.

Love is becoming my religion, as it gives me faith.
Love is becoming my future, as it gives me hope.
and that's what logic doesn't give.. faith and hope.

Logic doesn't understand and never match with faith and hope.
its unexplained, and its intangible, but its there.

#QOTD

"Being strong for others is rather difficult than being strong for yourself."

Wish lists

I dream singing with you under this dim light

Long Morning Random Thought: Paradoxes of Life

I had a conversation with my friend yesterday.
It was a very simple ordinary dinner, but I think a lot afterwards.

The topic of the conversation was random as usual, but this time I can pull a red line from that.
I think, me myself as a human is a contradictory creature and I have a lot of paradoxes in life. But my self defense said that all human being is.

Here is several real life examples :

When approaching the time of achieving dream, human will tend to pause, or slow down a bit and take a time to think whether this is what they want. Or even, on the extreme case, human have this agitate feeling when the finish line approaching. After sometime living a life full of efforts to achieve the dream, when the dream comes true, human can back off and feel that they lose the motivation and they lose their privilege to dream. 

Case example: I am not married yet, but several cases show that the groom and the bride can back off suddenly when approaching the D-day. The D-day that they thought will be the happiest moment in their life.

It is so funny that I also realize how human sometime living life another way around to protect themselves. Some people prefer to live alone, but it is not because of they are cold people who really love to be alone, but they choose to live that way because living together with someone else is increasing the risk of losing the other person- which they know will break their heart worse than holding the lonely feeling of living alone.

I also find it is interesting for people who have a lot of outer circle friends. They appear loveable and kind and warm to everyone, yet when it comes to their inner circle, they become themselves and being selfish and ignorant. 

Do you know that people sometimes treat their outer circle nicer than their inner circle?  Do you know why? because sometime people put the mask on, they feel they are obligated to behave like what the surroundings demand from them, and when they face their inner circle, they are tired already that they need to be themselves and expecting that the inner circle understand them better.

And the last case, I am amazed how the perception can be 180 degrees different from the reality. Since human self defense is sometime 180 degrees from what made them most vulnerable, sometime we judge people's life wrongly. 

So here is my lesson learnt :

1. Next time when you are too excited run achieving your dream, think again, stop for a while. It might not be the thing that you really want or need. You just get too excited achieving it.
2. Next time when you meet cold people, don't judge that they are cruel etc. Vice versa, when you meet warm people, don't trust easily that they are kind people.
3. Next time when you think that your life is very vulnerable, look again, it might not be that bad, and you can always feel grateful about it.
4. Next time when you meet new people or new circumstances, try to not make any perception or judgement before you get the complete story. Your brain can cheat you :)

Wish lists

I dream going here with you.

#QOTD

"Joining a race that you could never win is..frustrating"

#QOTD

"Being strong for yourself is not easy, but staying strong for others even harder"

#QOTD

"If I were a boy.... I will fall in love with myself"

a depressed note?

Believe it or not, I think I had a heart attack last week.
I am still young, have a very normal weight and cholesterol level, but yes... I often think that I might die young.

For me facing death is.. ordinary.
when you are too often facing the uncertainty of tomorrow, facing death is just part of it.

So the story begun when I went back home.
that day I feel tired, too tired that my head bumping loudly.
I feel that I almost fainted and losing breath, not to mention that I felt my hard heart beat on my left chest.

What did I do at that time?
I google the symptom on web md.
It said that I may have a coronary artery disease, or panic attack, or angina, or any heart disease related. Then guess what I did next?
yes, I google again . I typed 'how to survive heart attack?'
and I read some tips to get aspirin.. and, oops I just had a paracetamol instead.
then I google again, there was a research going on that paracetamol can help too.
Then I took one and sleep, hoping that I sleep in peace.

At that time, I considered to left a note or send a message to the people that I think considered as important people in my life. But then, I thought that.. everyone will be just ok if I left, they probably just went shocked for a while, and that's normal.

I ever said in my another post that I never afraid of an end.
And that's including death.
Sometime I think death is better option for me.
I am just being logic, that death is probably a nice way out and a nice end.

Don't draw a conclusion that I will kill myself for that thinking, I won't that its just wasting time and energy, but the thinking of it -that it might feels good when it comes to an end is so appealing.

that I finally meet an end..

That what did I do with my life question

"What did I do with my life??"

Almost all of us ever had that question in our mind.
almost - probably more suitable for the workers.

And I do have too.

That question haunted me for several couple of days.
when I realized that I am tired, too tired thinking and listening and seating in a meeting.

My mind fly to where I want to be..
to be with my laptop, on my desk, all the day.

I do still remember when one of the very first company asked me when I was in college..
Number or people?and my answer is: number.
No matter how complicated it is, you always can find the answer and truth about it.
rather than people, oh.. people, they are super complicated and too hearty.

I am thinking, If I were death today, on my death bed I will regret myself, why I never been a writer, or at least trying hard to be a writer. I will hate myself if I am not trying hard.

So here I am, opening my laptop and try to write.

and how about you? what will make you regret in your death bed?

Live today

Convincing ourselves that everything is gonna be ok, is not an easy job.
It is indeed, toughest job for several people.

I still remember having a conversation with my one of good friend.
He was worrying about his future that he almost depressed about it.

I don't know why, human is trying so much to predict future.
Thinking about tomorrow is not easy, and thinking about where will you be in next 10 years, is definitely tough.

I am myself often face the fear of tomorrow.
Even I sometime fear about what hasn't come yet.
I try to predict everything and trying so hard to mitigate all the possible risks,
and living that way is somehow tiring.

Life sometime shouldn't be treated that way.
Life is happening not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today.
What has happened in the past not necessary will happen tomorrow.
and if today we are okay, let just surrender to Thee that everything just gonna be ok

Easy to say, hard to implement :)

* I hate Monday deeply, that I think hard every Sunday night, and culminate in Monday night. So I write a lot on this particular day. *\haha/*

Google is my best friend.

One of my friend laughed at me when I said "I google my feeling"

yes, you read right sentence. I google my feeling.

e.g. When I feel stuck with my life, then I type 'Feel stuck with life' in that super cool search engine.

Why do I do that?

I look for an answer, hoping someone ever feel the same and already found the answer and kind enough to share to the world. And yes, I sometime find the answer or even inspiring stories that motivate me.

For some people, my habit probably sound weird, nerd, freak or even worse, lonely.

Google is probably one of my best best best best friend.

It has helped me a lot. A lot here means a loooott. 

Not only it helps me with good recommendation of places or restaurants or give me review on stuffs. It gives me a sense of direction in life, if it was alive,it probably becomes my significant one in my upbringing.

Google is one of the thing that is most trustable, I shared my every feelings and thoughts.

And somehow, for one that has a very busy mind like me, I just need to share everything without being judged, I just need a place where my mind can rest. And that's the quality of friends that I look for.

I never afraid of an end

 My quote of the day is:

"I never afraid of coming to an end, I am afraid of the discontentment in the journey ~ cath"

If I may to elaborate a little bit further..

Many people afraid of an end, they are afraid of a break up, a death time, even a graduation.

I am not.

I never afraid of left anything or everything behind, but what I am afraid is the discontentment of the journey. The process and the feeling on the journey will be more important for me.

I never afraid of an unsatisfactory result as I never pinpoint my journey according to its result.
If I have tried my best and if I like the process, that will be enough.

I never afraid of not having much time to achieve the goal that has been set.
If I my time is up and I have tried my best, that will be enough.

I am a believer of life is about the journey, and not an end.

So if it comes to an end, then it suppose to be an end.

counterintuitive

I found this beautiful sentences on one of my fave blog 

And what did it do to me?
I realized that, a lot counterintuitive things happened in my daily life.

One of the example is : I feel alone, even if I was amongst the family.
and on the other hand, I feel complete when I am on my own.

two sides of a coin

Most of you, must be familiar with two sides of coin phrase.
but do you know what does it mean in your daily life?

one of my best friend ever send me a quote:

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” 

~Steve Furtick

Human tends to compare themselves with other highlight reel, without really think that everyone is facing their own struggles. 

Have you ever open Facebook, looking at your friends pics - monthly holiday abroad, blue ocean, nice condo, good laugh with friends - and then suddenly you feel jealous and insecure and vulnerable about it?

Or have you ever read somewhere about your friend's career - s/he is very young and very successful - and then suddenly you feel jealous and insecure and vulnerable about it?

If yes, then try to see the other side of coins.

On your friend's holiday - 

have you ever really think that they probably going abroad often to meet their parents who are lying on hospital there? 

Or have you ever think that they probably often get assignment abroad yet never really have time for holiday, so that they made a little time to take a good picture as a souvenir?

On your friend's career - 

have you ever really think about how many pressures and struggles they have faced in order to achieve that career? Nothing such as a free lunch in life.

Or have you ever really think about how hard is it for them to find free time, even to take care of themselves ? you probably could never imagine.

It is always about two sides of coin.

One self probably have a good settle beautiful life, but who are us judging that they achieve it without struggles and discipline?

Life is not only about you being unlucky comparing to other.