Reflection 2015

2015 feels like a blink of an eye, up to level that I did not feel that I have been in that year.
(please refer to the word 'feel', I know it is not logic to think that I have not been going thru that year while until now I am still alive, hence I use feel rather than logic to explain here).

This will be my first time reviewing a year from two perspectives: Logic and Feeling

Let's discuss from logic point of view.
In 2015, I travel to at least 9 new places ( I travel as far as Seattle, Beijing, to northest island in Indonesia, to highest village in Indonesia). I presented an Ignite session in front of my whole HR community in APAC and rated as a good performer on my annual performance review. I met at least two single guy that made me think "oh there is a hope!".  I travel with my family for the first time abroad, I did have one cooking class, joining one yoga retreat, visiting Bali twice and closing a year in the highest village in Indonesia at 2000 metres above sea level.

Logically, who does not want to have that life?
Logically, everyone envy my free spirited life. Single, independent, free, hopeful, bright future.

From feeling point of view...
I feel that I don't do anything in that year, I forget what was it about, I feel that it is empty, meaningless - and worse, I feel broken inside.
Sad thing is - all of the experience above feel nothing, while it is actually worth and priceless.

Me myself asking myself a big WHY??

There are so many factors I can try to remember, yet I believe the main factor is .. I do not plan 2015, I do not set goals for 2015, hence I do not feel any milestone happened or achieved.

I get used to school lifestyle in which everything is planned, everything have timeline.
2009 - I graduated and start to work
2010- I graduated from Management Trainee Program and moved to Factory and learn something very worth in life.
2011- I went to Singapore for 7 months and learn a lot of things in HR area and produced a very good study about Organisation Design and Effectiveness
2012 - I am waiting for my promotion -- in which I remember I almost quit on that year..
2013 - I am promoted and handling Corp function and BB
2014 - I moved to Microsoft and went to USA
2015 - ...

I am marking year by year with goals and milestone. and I do not have anything I specifically pursue in 2015. From my perspective, same thing happened in 2012 - yet I got a good news on end of year so I close it nice, but not 2015. Hence, I think I need to create and plan something for 2016. I am not built to live as time goes by. 

It does not mean I can't sit and relax, it is just that I need more sense of purpose.