What is Your Plan Before Dying?

The title sounds creepy for some people. But not for me..
Unlike any other person generally, I'd like to know my time limit.
I'd like to know how much time left for me.

The biggest mistake most people made, they assume their time is unlimited. The second biggest mistake people made, they stick to only one plan and refuse to adjust to other plan.

I make a plan and the backup plan for my life..

If tomorrow, suddenly things happen and I am gone, I'll be happy and content - I have done so much more than I ever planned before.
If tomorrow, doctors suddenly said I only have 24 weeks left, I'll be happy too - I will quit my job as soon as I can, I will plan a good crematory, joining some insurance plan for the family, and travelling around the world before the time is coming.

If somehow I still have 3-4 years left, I will go back to school and do more travelling.
If it is ten years, I'll make sure I can afford live somewhere near the beach where I can feel the ocean breeze and staring on every waves on the beach every single days.
If it is twenty-thirty years from now, I'll make sure I raise a good kid and give him/her the knowledge and wisdom of life as much as I can.
And I think, I don't wish to live more than fifty years from today. I have lived enough life to be happy, to be content, to plan anything and to stop expecting from tomorrow.

See, don't you think it is easier if you just make a timeframe for your life? So whatever may come tomorrow to your life, you feel more ready on prioritizing what is more important for you.

The Time is not Unlimited

Family (Part 2): Education is my Culture!

Today is 20 February 2015, still in Chinese New Year Season.

While many families wearing red, feel happy to visit other family member, I feel nothing. I don't feel excited at all.

Yes, I born amongst Chinese family, but I born in Indonesia and never leave the country ever since (except for 7 months in 2012). I speak Bahasa, even Sundanese, I don't speak Chinese, and I don't recall that I celebrate Chinese New Year since I was a kid.

I tried to recall, did I even celebrate any festive season when I was a kid..

Did I celebrate Christmas?
No, I never have anything called Xmas dinner nor have Xmas tree on the living room.

Did I celebrate Idul Fitri?
No, I never bake any cake or going to fam's house to ask for any forgiveness.

Did I celebrate Chinese New Year?
No, obviously I never wear any red stuff or eat any famous moon cakes or receive thing called Ang Pao.

Did I celebrate New Year Eve?
Kinda, I remembered bought paper trumpet . That's it.

So it seems I do not celebrate any festive season, I often feel hard to relate to any cultures.
They say family build your culture of festive season, in my case, I don't think so.
The only culture that I really had since I was a kid is working hard and survival mode, if you do good at school you will become better person.

I Googled things, and I found this about my predecessor:

Taken from: http://history-of-culture.blogspot.com/2011/10/entry-of-chinese-people-tionghoa.html

So I accidentally happen to know that my Grandpa of my Grandpa (Lauw O Teng) is actually one of the founder for one of the very first school in Indonesia, which triggered other people in Indonesia at that time to build other school.

I am super proud of the fact.
I have been living for more than 20 years with weird feeling for not having any rooted culture
I finally can say, the culture we trust in the family is education, and not the other.

I ponder the fact, and I totally can relate with this "new culture I found"
I ask myself the question "If I have everything in the world already, what I wanna do?" - my answer is I'd like to go to medicine school, to neuroscience and philosophy school - not to work or have any career but to learn for the rest of my life.
I also would like to be a writer so that I can share the knowledge I have with world.
(this blog is actually one of my way to practice my writing skill)

So, to close the paragraphs, when you meet me somewhere, don't call me Chinese! call me an educated person :p

A Note on Valentine's Day

Every time I remember you, I remember the father that I never had.
Even though I never have you as mine, you replace him, you give me a sense of security and confident.
You obviously never say yes to everything I wish for, but you are biggest piece of my sane life.

Every time I remember you, I feel I was in kindergarten.
I surrounded by innocent laughter.
I remember we explore every crazy thoughts we have and we fulfill each other curiosities.

Every time I remember you, I feel you are my old best friend.
We rarely spend time together yet I feel you close to my heart.
Every time we meet, we will pour out our thoughts and we share each other stories.

So, Happy Valentine's Day, dear you in Rome!

5 to 6

Chasing happiness is a grand theme all people talking about lately.

Some said you should be married to be happy
Some said you should be famous to be happy
Some said you should be powerful and secure to be happy
Some said you should go to party to be happy

Can you find what is wrong with my sentences above?
No, it is not because it is repetitive and boring..
It is because we just put too much prerequisites to be happy.

One of my tricks of happiness is actually simple, yet for me, pricey.
Well one said that there is nothing such as free lunch.

I always have this magical happy feeling when I am able to wake up naturally at 5AM errr... or 5.15 AM (I am not a morning person, rarely wake up as early as 5AM), and if I could spend that magical hours looking at the changes of the color of the sky.
There is a burst of hope when the dark faded into lights, and that hope rides me into a peace state of mind which make me feel happy enough to continue my life.