First time writing from the office.

My life sometimes was in a not so happy time.
From scale 1-10 of happiness, mine is only 3-4. 

I notice that it happens when I can't think clearly and not having time to breathe properly.

What can I do about it?

Managing expectation, and do little things that is matter for myself...

Like now, while I have a lot of task to do, I choose to stop and do what I like to do..writing and breathe! :)

Fa-Mi-Ly part 1

What does family mean?

According to Merriam Webster: 

family |ˈfam(ə)lē|noun ( pl. -lies)1 [treated as sing. or pl. ] a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.• a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage : friends and family can provide support.• the children of a person or couple : she has the sole responsibility for a large family.• a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy : I could not turn him away, for he was family.• a group of people united in criminal activity.• Biology a principal taxonomic category that ranks above genus and below order, usually ending in -idae (in zoology) or -aceae (in botany).• a group of objects united by a significant shared characteristic.• Mathematics a group of curves or surfaces obtained by varying the value of a constant in the equation generating them.2 all the descendants of a common ancestor : the house has been owned by the same family for 300 years.• a race or group of peoples from a common stock.• all the languages ultimately derived from a particular early language, regarded as a group : the Austronesian language family.
If I follow above definition, then my ownership of family ended long time ago when I was at elementary school. Last time I lived with both parents are when I was 10- that was 16 years ago. After that I lived with my grandmother and big brother - that categorized me to have a small family, yet when I was 15 or 16, I almost lived alone as my grandmother falling sick and moved to other city with my aunty while my brother is back and forth going to take care of my grandmother.

Well, I am not writing today to discuss or share about my childhood.

I am writing because I have been thinking about this topic for a while.

I am thinking that I am a solitaire person who is incapable of feeling love, and somehow that bring me to the thought that probably I am too long living on my own. 

There, when I start to think whether I never feel loved, thus I am incapable of taking care a relationship or even friendship.

Generally speaking, a human being learn initial things about love from a family.

Yet, I might say, I don't have perfect one. So, is it justified for me to not knowing and to not show love because of my past background?

I don't think so! *said my heart loud and clear

And then I wonder, how does it feel to have a complete family?

How does it feel to have a memory of childhood of running back home from school to your mom and told her everything you have learned that day?

How does it feel to have father who can teach you ride a bike and drive a car?

How does it feel to have someone protect you from harm?

I don't have perfect story here..

but then, when I answer questions above in my head..

somehow my logic brain connects the dots and give an answer:

"You probably never had a perfect family like movies, but some people certainly love you and you are surviving- and most of those experience, you had it with your friends."

And I am stunned by the answer of my logic or my heart (whichever!)..

It made me conclude that family doesn't have to be limited to someone or people that has same DNA or genetics with you. It could be whoever- who care enough and contribute to your life. It possibly one stranger that change your life, it could be your partner in the office who sit next to you. As long as they care, and as long as you believe them and they believe you.. you can say they are family.

Yes, I know its not perfect, but you could live with that!!

to be continued to Fa-Mi-Ly part 2- explaining the feeling of rooted :)

5 Simple Tools for Quieting Your Busy Mind

As I already mentioned in my two previous post, our mind is magic thing, it can bring us happiness and unhappiness. So we have to learn to control it. Today I bump into another blog that also discussing about it, 
here it is...

Our minds are valuable tools, but sometimes they can just be annoying.  Especially when they try to take over, creating an endless stream of thoughts that leave us spinning.  It would not be so bad if they were beautiful and uplifting thoughts, but when our minds gets in this state it’s favorite subjects are usually worry, fear, self-judgment, and guilt.

Who needs that? 

Your mind is not who you are.  It does not control you.  Here are 5 simple tools to try when your brain goes into monkey mind mode:

Prayer and/or Meditation - the ultimate peace giving tools

Mindful Movement – go for a walk or run and count your steps

Focused Activities – Find an activity that requires or inspires your full attention.  Ideas that have worked for others include art, crafts, building things, puzzles, gardening, and sports.

Visualization – Picture the thoughts spinning in your head and then move them to a place outside of you.

Challenging Your Thoughts – Ask yourself if the thoughts are really true and if they serve you.  If not, let them go.  Repeat this process until your mind understands what kinds of thoughts you are willing to keep.

Taken from: www.lifecoachlinda.wordpress.com

Sharing Happiness to Others When You Actually Feel Unhappy

Happy New Year 2014 everyone..!!

Its time to be fierce, to be courageous and to grow more personally.

One of the habit that I'm trying to build since 2013 is meditation.

I believe that it will improve my mental resilience to face life ;)

So I use some simple apps that taught me meditation technique.

The apps is quite simple where it reminds me to do meditation everyday, and then they gave me a quote to ponder along with a nice music background to meditate.

One of my very first quote is "Happiness doesn't decrease when we share it with others"

Quite simple, and I am agree with that.

but something hit me when I do the meditation today,

I think that I never mind sharing happiness with others, but its really hard for me to share happiness when me myself feel unhappy.

That's the challenge!

During my silence time today, I am actually come to a realization that in the unhappy situation, if I can treat other people well and make them feel comfortable anytime (regardless the happiness meter of myself at that time) - will somehow help me to always feel good about myself and then link to the increase of my own happiness.

So... one of my very first commitment in this year is probably to always treat people well.

For my own happiness :) 

and probably you can try too...